Las week, cain shared on his mastodon account the following:

"i think we need to start writing credits the same way book authors write acknowledgements"

I thought it was a great idea and while I'm technically not doing the same here I wanted to share some thoughts about developing the game, even if it's neither a postmortem or an acknowledgements section.

2023 hasn't been particularly kind. My husband's brother died on 4th January at the age of 45 to a heart attack and close colleague of mine almost suffered the same fate last month. These have been eye-opening experiences and I personally haven't been in a great headspace for a while. There was a point (albeit short) where I felt existential dread about being alive. Scared of the fact that I could drop dead at any minute. When I explained it to my mum, she just said that life's always been like this and as I'm getting older I'm just becoming more aware of it. 

This game wasn't even meant to exist. I was going to get a break  of game making for a while, to avoid burnout. I didn't feel like making my usual heart-warming, cosy games either.

I picked up Minecraft for the first time 3 weeks ago and I have been playing it a lot. I want to thanks FUTURE RUINS (for inviting me to La Madriguera) and Fran for setting up everything for us. There is something so relaxing about the game, and playing it helped me process some stuff going on with life - things mentioned above plus some more.

At the same time, I've also been feeling a lot of anxiety about particular behaviours/coping mechanisms I thought I had completely gotten rid of years ago and have resurfaced lately. 

THE EVIL ERA by cecile richard has been on my mind lately too.

While this game is not autobiographical at all, I suddenly felt the urge to make a game about a part of myself I hate. In a way, to acknowledge it exists, and at the same time killing it by releasing it into the void that is the internet.

When we announced O2A2 VN Jam 2023 ~ Queer Edition ~ I was absolutely sure I wasn't going to make anything. After all, I was taking a break. Then I happened to have to take half of my holiday entitlement in April because I hadn't done so in the previous 10 months and I ended up with some time on my hands and too many thoughts on my mind.

So here is DOWNFALL.

If you play it, I hope you like it. And if you don't, I hope that at least it made you uncomfortable.

Thanks for reading.